[at-l] OT--Converting a Bear

[Doug Mathews]

Ok, its off topic, but it is about a critter we see on the trail.......

Mainframe

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A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi would get together twice 
a week for coffee to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment 
that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge 
would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they 
decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, 
find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. 
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has 
various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, 
"I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I 
began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted 
nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly 
grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle a lamb. 
The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and 
confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm 
and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and 
brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't 
sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read 
to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do 
with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled 
down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. 
So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you 
said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day 
praising Jesus."

They both looked down at Rabbi Goldberg, who was lying in a hospital bed.
He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in 
and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, 
"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."