[at-l] It's Felix's fault
codycodygirl at gmail.com
Mon Jan 3 22:23:37 CST 2011
Thanks a lot Felix!
On Mon, Jan 3, 2011 at 10:14 PM, <hopeful_2003 at comcast.net> wrote:
> Well, as usual Felix has caused more trouble. He knows good and well how
> his flashbacks causes longing in the hearts and yet he does it over and
> over. Mercy. It ain't bad enough as it is, me waiting on March, so he goes
> and keep on doing this.
> All on account of him, I have been thinking back to the many comments made
> on the List over the years, thoughts about Springer Fever. So, I have wasted
> too much time compiling them into a sort of story. If y'all waste time
> reading it, blame the whole thing on Felix.
> SPRINGER FEVER
> There is a personality disorder that causes acute dismay, if not outright
> alarm among the family, friends and acquaintances of the individual
> possessed of this syndrom. It is unobservable in its beginning but can be
> recognized or at least suspected by certain comments and subtle behaviors.
> Early on the patient may be overheard to make benign comments like, "I feel
> cramped in this cubical." As the condition worsens the comments become more
> intense. Those effected might say, "If I get a raise I could save enough by
> December." These comments gradually become outbursts and may occur at most
> inconvenient times and places. For example, one patient interrupted a
> departmental budget meeting by saying, "That idiot (referring to the
> manager) is infatuated with the sound of his own stupid voice."
> The disorder progresses from verbal warning signs to overt behavioral
> manifestations. The visual onset can be detected by such behavior as surfing
> the net from one hiking page, to outdoor gear catalogs, to blogs and
> bulletin boards. If you are at work and are reading this, you should seek
> immediate medical attention. However, it is most likely too late. At our
> current level of mental health care, no type of intervention or medication
> has proved effective in delaying the next stage of this illness: ADD phase.
> Typically, the patient is known to stare out windows, or in the case of
> interior places, to simply stare into space. This behavior can be manifested
> at home but most frequently at work. The staring behavior seems to be
> suppressed in domestic environments but will be replaced with peculiar
> anti-social actions such as reading hiker magazines in the closet or leaving
> a family gathering to check for updates on Trailjournals. Other oddities
> include interrupting conversations. In one documented case, during a morning
> break a co-worker was relating his reaction to a recent football game. The
> patient appeared to be oblivious to the conversation but suddenly stepped
> forward and ask if anyone though his coffee cup would make for good hiking
> gear. These behavior become increasingly disruptive. In a more sever case it
> was documented that while a VP was addressing the staff, the patient stood
> up and asked if the executive had ever used a down sleeping bag. This sort
> of acting out portends the next phase of the disorder: OCD.
> The Obsessive-Compulsive stage of the disease usually has rapid onset and
> to-date no therapy has been found that will arrest progress into the worst
> and final phase, Thruhiking. In the OCD period, patients have been known to
> abruptly cross multiple lanes of traffic on a busy highway because they
> observed a banner reading "Tent Sale." In a few records, the sufferers have
> collapsed into inconsolable grieving when they realized the merchant was
> peddling scratched and dented washing machines. Other noted events include
> sleeping in the backyard in all sorts of weather, and dressing in rain gear
> well before dawn in order to walk in storms, both rain and snow. Still
> others include spending hour upon hour at a dehydrator.
> This strange behavioral disorder, now universally recognized as Springer
> Fever, is causing widespread alarm among mental health professional and in
> homes all across American, yes, even the entire world. Opinions differ
> widely regarding its cause. On the one hand it is believed to be a latent
> disorder stemming from insufficient outdoor play time during early youth. At
> the other end of the spectrum are those who hold it is caused by secret
> government testing with soft drink additives. Other conspiracy advocate
> suggest international terrorists are involved. The most outlandish theory
> sees a connection between the first reported case of Springer Fever, one
> Earl V. Shaffer of Pennsylvania, and the earliest reports of alien visitors,
> both occurring around 1948. This theory is dismissed out of hand by the
> majority of professionals. A few facts are accepted throughout the entire
> professional community. The actual cause of this condition remains a
> complete mystery. There appear to be no genetic links although it has been
> documented to occur in several family members. It has been shown to appear
> in consecutive generations but also siblings manifest the symptoms.
> Nutrition does not seem to be connect to Springer Fever nor does social
> environments such as educational or economic backgrounds.
> In some years Springer Fever seems rampant while in others it almost goes
> dormant. This remains another enigma for researchers and only adds to their
> concern and frustration as they seek some effective treatment. Of this all
> are certain, there is no cure in the foreseeable future. In the end all
> patients are obsessed with the desire to sleep on the ground and eat pasta
> while exposing themselves to inclement weather, soap privation and intense
> fatigue. One mystery perplexes researchers above all others. Those suffering
> Springer Fever are most joyful in the final stage known as Thruhiking, which
> is their pursuit of some mythical place they call Katahdin. While they
> clearly love their families, they seem intimately connected to others with
> the disorder and even think of themselves as "our tribe."
> at-l mailing list
> at-l at backcountry.net
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