[at-l] Wow, a for real flame war

Matt Signore mpsignore at gmail.com
Thu Dec 27 13:54:12 CST 2012

Well you are all living proof that there are morons that can use a cpu.
 Good Job you hiked yay! you are a douche and a moron!

On Thu, Dec 27, 2012 at 1:35 PM, Richard Calkins <racalkins at msn.com> wrote:

> Trail Journals entry
> March 17,2005
> Posted because, well, because I can.  Gosh, I sure hope I don't annoy
> nobody....
> I got a late start out of Neels Gap this morning. There was only one
> vehicle available to shuttle us from the cabin back up to the Gap, so I let
> some others go first and stayed to catch up a bit with my journal. As we
> drove from our cabin, lower down the mountain, up to Neels Gap, I watched
> the outside temperature gauge drop from 34 degrees to 30, and the drizzle
> turn to snow.
> The delay, however, turned out to have an additional benefit, as I ran
> into some really good M company friends who were a day behind me but had
> arrived early from Wood’s Hole Shelter for their overnight in Neels Gap and
> were in collecting packages when I got there.
> I met Scholar and Cuppa Joe, followed shortly thereafter by Mike Shine and
> James Kenny. They told me that Breakaleg was not far behind, and I waited
> another half an hour, but she didn't show up. By then it was 10:30, and I
> had ten miles ahead of me, so I took off. Not a bad idea, as it turned out,
> as there were a couple of pretty good mountains awaiting me. One in
> particular was the climb out of Tesnatee Gap - straight up about a thousand
> feet.
> You couldn't see very far ahead due to the clouds and snow, but it was
> really beautiful and kind of fun to hike in. The good news was that my new
> pack worked great. I ended up not even taking it off the whole ten miles,
> and it was very comfortable. Other than that, however, I think you could
> probably best describe my afternoon as “the misadventures of Private 2nd
> Class Walter M. Longhaul."
> It began when the bite valve on the sip tube of my new water bladder
> somehow malfunctioned. The one it replaced had a small lever to open and
> close the tube; with this one, you just bite down on the mouth piece to
> allow the water to flow. As usual, I had the tube stuck under the sternum
> strap of my pack, and resting against my shirt. I did not notice it at
> first as the tube began to leak water onto my shirt, since it was already
> soaked with sweat from my climb up the last mountain. It pretty much
> saturated the two shirts I was wearing, but was held in check for a while
> by the belt to my pack. At a certain point, however, the volume of
> accumulated, chilled water reached a critical mass and the dam burst. Given
> the forces of gravity, there was only one place for it to go, and thus the
> icy cold water cascaded joyfully into my drawers.
> "Oh YOWEE - yowee, yowee, yowee" screamed the right side of my brain.
> "Attention, Private Longhaul - Attention, Private Longhaul," said the more
> rational voice from the left side of my brain. "Our sensors indicate a
> serious temperature drop accompanied by unexplainable volumes of a liquid
> substance in your lower quarters. You are advised to investigate
> immediately and take whatever corrective action may be appropriate!"
> "Yowee!" screamed the right side of my brain again. "Shut the dang water
> off, NOW!” which, of course, I did. And eventually, with the body heat
> generated by continued climbs before reaching Low Gap Shelter, the excess
> water began to evaporate away. Let’s hear it for "wicking" long johns!
> I arrived at the shelter and attended to the usual chores. Before long I
> was ready to try out my new alcohol stove by cooking dinner - and that's
> when my second misadventure began.
> Note to self: in future, always field test gear before taking it into the
> back country where your life - or at least your dinner - may depend on
> having all of the right pieces and knowing how they work....
> The stove consists of a small can with a lid with holes in it that you
> fill with alcohol, which sits within a second open can which acts as a wind
> screen and on which two cross pieces fit together forming a base on which
> you set your pot.
> The trouble started when I realized that I could not get the two cross
> pieces to fit together. At first I thought I was just doing it wrong, but
> then I realized they had given me two identical cross pieces and there was
> no way to get them to work.
> I spent the next 20 minutes improvising a pot base using titanium tent
> stakes and duct tape. When that was done, I prepared to fill the stove with
> fuel. I looked around for my alcohol bottle, but it seemed to have
> disappeared. After a bit of searching, a hiker friend reminded me that I
> had tucked it under my belt to warm it up, since alcohol doesn't burn well
> when it's cold. (Hey, I just forgot, ok. I was concentrating on improvising
> the thing!)
> So I filled the small can with fuel, put the lid on, and poured about
> table spoon of alcohol onto the lid of the can - as per the instructions -
> which acts as a primer, and lit it with my handy-dandy candle lighter.
> The primer alcohol burned down, but the stove did not seem to have caught.
> I held my hand directly over the lid, and felt no heat coming out
> whatsoever. (You can't necessarily see an alcohol flame in daylight, so
> that's the only way to be sure.)
> I figured maybe the fuel was still too cold to burn, so I poured some more
> priming alcohol onto the lid. That was when I discovered - to my amazement
> - that I had indeed managed to light it the first time. Apparently, the
> flame was still weak, and confined to the inside of the can. My second dose
> of primer was all it needed to fully ignite, which it did, including the
> bottle of alcohol I was still holding in my right hand.
> I now had two stoves going--one intentionally and one not. I proceeded to
> try to blow out the flame coming out of my fuel bottle to no avail. After
> several heroic attempts, and not knowing what else to do, I set the bottle
> on the ground.
> I heard another hiker inside the shelter yell "your water bottle - your
> water bottle,", referring to my plastic one liter water bag. Great idea, I
> thought - I'll pour water on the fuel bottle and put out the fire. Why
> didn't I think of that!
> So I pick up my water bottle and head toward my fuel bottle, only to
> discover that he was trying to tell me that I had splashed alcohol on to my
> water bottle which was itself on fire. This time, however, I was able to
> blow out the flames and, through the hole I had burned in the water bottle,
> managed to splash enough water to extinguish the flames coming from my fuel
> bottle - much to my relief, and much to the amusement of the twenty or so
> other hikers there assembled. Needless to say, my dinner was somewhat
> delayed...
> Stay tuned, Longhaul
> GA->ME '05
> Richard A. Calkins (Home) 703 437-4240 (Cell) 703 901-5981
> > From: trailr at aol.com
> > Date: Thu, 27 Dec 2012 10:44:21 -0500
> > To: mpsignore at gmail.com
> > CC: at-l at backcountry.net; pfornof at sbcglobal.net
> > Subject: Re: [at-l] Wow, a for real flame war
> >
> > I know Felix, and like reading his trail entries, and his old AT
> magazine stories, and everyone's trail and non trail experiences....
> Because I know most of these people, and have for almost 20 years. Who are
> you, and why should we care?
> >
> > Hotdog AT 03
> >
> > Trail Journals entry
> > March 1, 2003. Springer to Hawk Mt.
> > Posted for no reason at all.
> >
> > Well, last night was very interesting. The wind changed direction and
> blew into the “not as weather-proof” side of the tent. Did I mention that
> it was raining ? So my sleeping bag got kind of wet, but I stayed pretty
> warm until 7 AM. I was wiping water off things most of the night. Temp.
> probably was in the upper 30’s. Went up to Springer again this morning for
> fog pictures, then hit the trail north. We are officially Pack 31 now
> (3/1/03). Ate lunch after long falls at the Hickory Flatts pavilion. Laid
> my gear out to dry, but forget it. Hiked a little farther to Hawk Mountain
> Shelter (at 3:30PM) and set up shop in the loft, all my gear hanging out to
> dry again. Hiked with Liteshoe, Wench, Happy, Bumpkin, and Kevin. Feels
> good to sit back and relax for a while. Everything aches a little, nothing
> too bad. Got really cold up in the shelter loft, started shivering, wrapped
> in my space blanket, put on layers. Got dressed and started dinner at the
> picnic back in the rain. Only off by a little on my alcohol, drank some
> scotch, relit the stove. Freeze dried spaghetti is ok, with hot sauce,
> parmesan, salt and pepper (and more scotch), with coffee. I’ve eaten a ton
> today, feels good, had a hiker playing cool banjo and tell stories ( I took
> his picture so people would believe me), Bone Dancer. Sleeping bag is
> mostly dry, but I’m warm now, it will be ok. I’ll let you know about bears
> and mice tomorrow. Update: Mouse activity last night, found turds in and on
> my coffee cup. (Best cup I’ve had so far).
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> >
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> digests in your replies.

Matt Signore
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