[pct-l] Santa on Whitney- My Christmas Gift to You!

[g l]

Twas the night before Christmas, when out on the trail
    There were snow storms and ice storms and lightening and hail.
The boots, they were hung on the Lekis with care
    In hopes that to dry them, there would soon be warm air.

The hikers were nestled all snug in their sacks
    After a day of postholing had nearly broken their backs.
And Reinhold in his bandanna and Switchback in his cap
    Were reluctant to venture out for a much needed c_ _ p.   
                                                          (Bathroom break).
When out on the summit there arose such a noise-
    They were hoping it wasn't the Brokeback Mountain Boys!
Away to the tent door they flew like a flash!
    Ran out on the snow crust and fell on their (volcanic) ash!

The sound of an avalanche close, oh so near-
    Made knobby knees tremble and grown men to fear!
When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
    But a tough hikin' dude with 80 pound gear!

They knew in a moment
    It must be our Mags.
They were really relieved 
    That it wasn't' those f_ _ s
                          (Other guys!)

More rapid than Williamson, 
    His legs how they flew!
A true Triple Crowner
     Tho now turning blue!

"Now Steel-Eye!  Now L-Rod!,  Losthiker; Greg too!
    Grab Jerry and Strider and Tortoise and Wheeew!
To the top of the pass, to the summit of Whitney!
    Hurry!  Hike fast, cuz a skeeter just bit me!"

When they meet with an obstacle
    They think they'll glissade!
Follow Radar and Drifter 
    And they'll have it made!

And then in a twinkling they heard Sly exclaim-
    "I've fallen into a crevasse!  Now ain't that a shame!"
But Yogi and Gottago, who were prudent and true,
    Thought, "Lets steal his boot, no wait, maybe two!!!"

MeadowEd climbed higher.
    Home thought he was last-
That is until AsABat
     Went by in a blast!

He carried no pack 
    And wore ONLY trail shoes-
Someone claimed it was "Hike Naked Day"
    But it was only a ruse!

Brick sprinted the steps   
    And was there in a lick   
After all, he had to make sure
    Everyone stayed on top- ic!!!

Jim and Ginny arrived full of glee   
    And proclaimed in awe,
"We didn't know this mountain    
    Was on the CDT!!!"
    
Up at the top, Billy Goat stood-
    King of Mt. Whitney, (and King of Mt. Hood!)
Squatch came along, but boy was he balking,
    Making movies for hikers meant he had to keep "Walking"!!!

Nosirrebob held a pipe in his mug
    And plowed up the snowbank at the pace of a slug.
PCT Mom said she couldn't go far
    Or she might need some help from the local S.A.R.

But nobody cared!
    It was the Eve before Christmas!
And the hike up Mt. Whitney
    Would be the true "litmus".

When all of a sudden
    A guy in red suit,
Weighing more than the others
    Went down thru the chute!

Thru the chimney that is,
    Of the cabin on top!
No ultra-light hiker,
    He slammed to a stop.

Why, this was no fiend,
    This was no hermit!
And everyone hoped 
    That he carried his permit!

And up on the roof top   
    Was an eerie red glow-
It might be a grizzly or mountain lion,
    But no!

It had antlers and bells
    And pulled a huge pack-
No crampons or ice axe
    But still stayed on track!

They arrived one by one,
    And entered the hut-
To presents galore
    And a fresh ham to cut!!!

Yes!  Food everywhere!
    All kinds that they like!
And as Santa flew off, called
      Happy Christmas to all
             And HYOH!!!
  


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I hope I gave you a SMILE for Christmas! 
Wishing you a Joyous Season and a Healthy New Year!
   
  Composed by:
  Wheeew




       
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