[pct-l] A Modest Proposal For Herd Management

[David Plotnikoff]

Hello from a long-time list-lurker.


Regardless of how you feel about the ADZKO, I think most of us can 
take one step back and agree on the validity of the underlying 
problem: The adverse impact and stress the herd imposes on trail town 
services, trail angels and the trail itself is hard to deny.

With that in mind, I would suggest that we set aside any calls for 
cancelling, moving, rescheduling or otherwise messing with the ADZKO. 
There is no need for such a drastic and divisive step. Instead, I 
would offer a modest proposal: Economic sanctions to make the 
thru-hikers manage their own itineraries. The fee structure would be 
very simple, and the mechanism for administering it is already in 
place and has been functioning for years.

When a potential hiker submits an application to the PCTA for a 
thru-hike permit (ANY hike longer than 500 PCT miles) they shall be 
assessed a modest fee. The Herd Overload Offset, Expensed Yearly fee 
will be calculated on a sliding scale: Persons leaving the southern 
monument on the third Saturday in April will be charged a top HOOEY 
of $100. For each day of deviation from that date, the HOOEY will 
decrease by $4. Thus someone leaving Campo 25 days before or after 
the peak date would pay no HOOEY at all.

Brothers and sisters, are you with me so far?

The proceeds from the HOOEY fund would eventually be applied to 
trail maintainance and acquisition of key right-of-way. But first it 
would be directed to address the adverse impact the herd has on trail 
towns. The long-suffering postmistress at Warner Springs could apply 
to the HOOEY grants committee of the PCTA for a new storage trailer 
to be on-site during the peak month. The owners of the Raccoon Saloon 
in Wrightwood would be given a small grant to hire extra security to 
handle the "Animal House" antics of the herd. (Don't dispute me. I 
was there in '05 myself when the earth shook and grown men cried out 
in terror.) Donna and Jeff Saufley would receive one of the largest 
grants, covering daily truckloads of water, laundry detergent, a 
Shiatsu massage therapist on call (for Donna, not you, you dolt!) 
and several cases of premium wine. The Andersons will receive an 
generous ongoing stipend for bulk taco salad ingredients and certain 
herbal supplements as needed.

As someone who has been on the trail for nine years now, I am as 
invested in the overall well-being of the trail - and the trail 
community - as anyone. And it's with the most sincere intent that I 
say to you, brothers and sisters:

It's time to go with the HOOEY. The trail we love depends on it.

David Plotnikoff
http://www.emeraldlake.com/pctguide/