[pct-l] Buzzworm BBQ

[Tom Hudson]

Awesome story, mate.  And a great way to thwart the back-n-forthin goin on
over some remarks I honestly had interpreted to be sarcastic to begin with.

/Tom

On Wed, Jan 5, 2011 at 12:12 AM, jason moores <jmmoores at hotmail.com> wrote:

>
> Last year Molasses and I zeroed at Tom's place in Kennedy Meadows ,
> pitching our tyvek in the yard near one of the trailers(our favorite layover
> of the summer due to Tom's boundless generosity). Staying in said trailer
> were two of the trails finest examples of Hikertrash. We had met these
> gentlemen two hundred miles back and had been leapfrogging for a few weeks.
> I say this so that ya know that when I say that these fellas were good folk,
> that it comes from personal knowledge. They were not the evil, murderous
> scoundrels that they were soon to be seen as.
>
> So...anyways, one fine afternoon, returning from the bohemian gorging of
> vittles and dark ale at the K.M. Gen. Store, our intrepid hikers headed for
> their trailer to rest up for the evenings festivities. Passing near our
> empty campsite on their return, they stirred up a small rattler.  After a
> short debate they decided that it would be dangerous to leave the serpent
> unmolested in the vicinity of the thirty or so hikers floppin' in Tom's
> yard. Most of whose judgement/reflexes were impaired by grog and a pungent
> smelling herb being smoked out of odd shaped glass pipes in small groups
> throughout the yard. With a barbaric yalp hiker 1 smote the dragon. Hiker 2
> patted his partner on the back and congratulated him on his conquest.
> Brimming with pride hiker 2 held up the limp body of the buzzworm, yalped in
> victory and proceeded to boast of the kill to all who drew near.
>
> Word of the snake's demise ran through the meadow like wildfire. Before
> long, shouts of protest could be heard throughout the yard. Many hikers were
> appalled by the actions of hikers 1 &2 - This was a desecration of mother
> earth. What had the snake done to them? Why did they not remove this fragile
> creature to a safe place for its protection? I heard murmurs of lynching the
> culprits, or at the least, a revocation of their Hikertrash credentials.
> Wow, this was a tough crowd.
>
> A voice from the mob called out, "Ya gotta eat it, dude!" Many bearded
> heads wagged in agreement. This surely was the only way to appease the gods.
>
> In their humble fashion, 1&2 agreed to consume their kill. The rest of the
> afternoon was spent skinnin', guttin and choppin. By nightfall the worm was
> ready ta be cooked.
>
> It was a fine gathering of Trash around Tom's fire that night. Wine flowed
> like a river and again I smelt a pleasant pungent odor. Two troubadours of
> the trail entertained the crowd with strummin and verse. At the appointed
> hour 1&2 approached the fire with heads bowed. All present were attentive of
> the ritual before them. A greased cast-iron skillet was produced and the
> cookin' commenced.
>
> Being a chef I sat rapt in fascination as the small ivory knuckles of meat
> sizzled in the pan. It didn't take long for the snake meat to be cooked
> through. I called out to my friends, "don't over cook it, man."
>
> Tom leaned forward and said, "let'r cook, ya need ta do rattler well done."
> The fryin continued....and continued...and continued. Finally the skillet
> was removed from the fire. The once beautiful flesh had been reduced to
> gnarled, smokin bits of charcoal. 1&2 produced their blades and commenced
> eating straight from the pan. Tom smiled wryly, leaned in closer, "how is
> it?"
>
> "Crunchy...belch"
>
> Epilogue: Moments after eating the blackened snake meat, hiker 1 returned
> to the trailer, became violently sick and spent the next several days
> nauseous and with intestinal distress.
> The Moral of this tale: No good deed goes unpunished
>
> Jackass
>
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