[pct-l] Buzzworm BBQ

Wed Jan 5 12:36:58 CST 2011

Wow...really man. This is what you took from my story? A story meant to diffuse this boring thread, I might add. It's a trail tale, not an indictment of some inflated notion of personal rights. Get over yourself. I neither directed the story at you, nor argued any position regarding your rants. 

Since you're not going to let it go, and since my friends are not here to "stand up for themselves", I'll do it. Of course they didn't know about skinning or eating a snake, why would they. They were on the trail to enjoy nature not to kill and consume it. They were secure enough in their masculinity to not feel the need to hunt a two foot reptile to prove their manliness. They were trying to protect their friends, a more noble and manly undertaking than eating snakes.

There may have been some mistakes made by the protagonist of my trail tale, but not being proficient skinners wasn't one of them.

As far as the "baffoon" comment: while not being the master hunter and protector of personal rights that you most certainly are, I'm sure that they were at least able to spell the word buffoon.

I apologize to the rest of the list for continuing this ridiculous argument, but there' a jackass in every crowd, and I'm not afraid to point them out. It's my "personal right".

O.K., I'm finished with this fool,

Jackass

> Date: Wed, 5 Jan 2011 07:47:40 -0800
> Subject: Re: [pct-l] Buzzworm BBQ
> From: altathunder76 at gmail.com
> To: vertigelt at gmail.com
> CC: jmmoores at hotmail.com; pct-l at backcountry.net
> 
> So because a couple bafoons who didnt know about
> skinning(allday),eating,and standing up for themselves,all others will
> now be judged as those bafoons! Good stuff.
> 
> On 1/5/11, Tom Hudson <vertigelt at gmail.com> wrote:
> > Awesome story, mate.  And a great way to thwart the back-n-forthin goin on
> > over some remarks I honestly had interpreted to be sarcastic to begin with.
> >
> > /Tom
> >
> > On Wed, Jan 5, 2011 at 12:12 AM, jason moores <jmmoores at hotmail.com> wrote:
> >
> >>
> >> Last year Molasses and I zeroed at Tom's place in Kennedy Meadows ,
> >> pitching our tyvek in the yard near one of the trailers(our favorite
> >> layover
> >> of the summer due to Tom's boundless generosity). Staying in said trailer
> >> were two of the trails finest examples of Hikertrash. We had met these
> >> gentlemen two hundred miles back and had been leapfrogging for a few
> >> weeks.
> >> I say this so that ya know that when I say that these fellas were good
> >> folk,
> >> that it comes from personal knowledge. They were not the evil, murderous
> >> scoundrels that they were soon to be seen as.
> >>
> >> So...anyways, one fine afternoon, returning from the bohemian gorging of
> >> vittles and dark ale at the K.M. Gen. Store, our intrepid hikers headed
> >> for
> >> their trailer to rest up for the evenings festivities. Passing near our
> >> empty campsite on their return, they stirred up a small rattler.  After a
> >> short debate they decided that it would be dangerous to leave the serpent
> >> unmolested in the vicinity of the thirty or so hikers floppin' in Tom's
> >> yard. Most of whose judgement/reflexes were impaired by grog and a pungent
> >> smelling herb being smoked out of odd shaped glass pipes in small groups
> >> throughout the yard. With a barbaric yalp hiker 1 smote the dragon. Hiker
> >> 2
> >> patted his partner on the back and congratulated him on his conquest.
> >> Brimming with pride hiker 2 held up the limp body of the buzzworm, yalped
> >> in
> >> victory and proceeded to boast of the kill to all who drew near.
> >>
> >> Word of the snake's demise ran through the meadow like wildfire. Before
> >> long, shouts of protest could be heard throughout the yard. Many hikers
> >> were
> >> appalled by the actions of hikers 1 &2 - This was a desecration of mother
> >> earth. What had the snake done to them? Why did they not remove this
> >> fragile
> >> creature to a safe place for its protection? I heard murmurs of lynching
> >> the
> >> culprits, or at the least, a revocation of their Hikertrash credentials.
> >> Wow, this was a tough crowd.
> >>
> >> A voice from the mob called out, "Ya gotta eat it, dude!" Many bearded
> >> heads wagged in agreement. This surely was the only way to appease the
> >> gods.
> >>
> >> In their humble fashion, 1&2 agreed to consume their kill. The rest of the
> >> afternoon was spent skinnin', guttin and choppin. By nightfall the worm
> >> was
> >> ready ta be cooked.
> >>
> >> It was a fine gathering of Trash around Tom's fire that night. Wine flowed
> >> like a river and again I smelt a pleasant pungent odor. Two troubadours of
> >> the trail entertained the crowd with strummin and verse. At the appointed
> >> hour 1&2 approached the fire with heads bowed. All present were attentive
> >> of
> >> the ritual before them. A greased cast-iron skillet was produced and the
> >> cookin' commenced.
> >>
> >> Being a chef I sat rapt in fascination as the small ivory knuckles of meat
> >> sizzled in the pan. It didn't take long for the snake meat to be cooked
> >> through. I called out to my friends, "don't over cook it, man."
> >>
> >> Tom leaned forward and said, "let'r cook, ya need ta do rattler well
> >> done."
> >> The fryin continued....and continued...and continued. Finally the skillet
> >> was removed from the fire. The once beautiful flesh had been reduced to
> >> gnarled, smokin bits of charcoal. 1&2 produced their blades and commenced
> >> eating straight from the pan. Tom smiled wryly, leaned in closer, "how is
> >> it?"
> >>
> >> "Crunchy...belch"
> >>
> >> Epilogue: Moments after eating the blackened snake meat, hiker 1 returned
> >> to the trailer, became violently sick and spent the next several days
> >> nauseous and with intestinal distress.
> >> The Moral of this tale: No good deed goes unpunished
> >>
> >> Jackass
> >>
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