[pct-l] Proposed kick-off procedure

[bighummel at aol.com]

Jim,


Very interesting ideas and very tempting to consider! I'm really afraid though, of a popular uprising of ADZ attendees on Facebook rising up to overthrow the despot organizers who have so suppressed the trail community over the years of this event. Shhhh, don't tell anyone anything more about this, every thing is fine, just fine, we haven't had any conflicts or riots or . . .


Greg "Muammar" Hummel


Those three little words
Never said enough
By themselves, never enough



-----Original Message-----
From: Jim Bravo <jimbravo2 at gmail.com>
To: strider at pct77.org <strider at pct77.org>
Cc: pct-l at backcountry.net
Sent: Tue, Mar 1, 2011 4:02 pm
Subject: Proposed kick-off procedure


Dear ADZPCTKO Organizers:

There are many wonderful activities that will take place at this
year's upcoming kick-off. You provide a great service to the PCT
hiking community. I have a couple of ideas for event efficiency. I
propose a format whereby there be a roped assembly line area where the
clientele (hikers, friends and families, wannabees, used to be's,
never were's, and innocent by-standers who were in the wrong place at
the wrong time) can be processed quickly and efficiently. This will
eliminate useless wandering around and endless, long-winded
conversations between participants, much of which is not true anyway.

1) Participants enter the park and are directed by Meadow Ed and his
followers to the Input Processing Area where they are identified. Name
tag and tent space number are stapled to chest.
2) You are escorted into the roped path for the following non-optional
procedures.
3) PCTA Booth: PCTA personnel inspect your thru permit (if
applicable), weigh you on a scale, take your vital signs, ask your
hiking history, run a background check, and adjust the ending point of
your hike. Do not be surprised if they stop your permit at Scissors
X-ing. Free service.
4) Pirate's Lair: Switchback spray paints your tent stakes fluorescent
orange. If you have no stakes he will paint other equipment as he
deems appropriate. You must listen to one of his jokes. Free service.
5) Muir House: Shroomer smears Muir dirt onto your pack and face,
places a piece of Muir pear in your hydration holster or pocket, and
sprinkles you with blessed Muir wine while reciting sacred Muir
musings. $20 Muir surcharge. $15 if Sierra Clubber.
6) Feed Lot: Head chef places bean burrito in your left hand. Sous
Chef places unidentified beverage in your right hand. Start eating.
7) Counseling Area: You enter a portable confessional booth (looks
suspiciously like a porta-john) where Father Yoshi questions you for
two minutes and tells you what is wrong with you. $125 + tip.
8) Commercial Zone: You stream past past various outfitters, who take
your orders for new equipment, replacing much of the the (heavier) new
equipment in your pack that you just spent $1,800 on.
9) Restroom Facilities: You enter a long portable toilet for mandatory
usage as per Park Authorities who are tired of smelly dead grass near
the (usually male) tent sites. Park Rangers are strategically located
inside to assist. Upon exit, free Gatorade/urine bottles available for
$5 deposit.
10) You are released to your designated tent space.

Now, this list is just a starting point for further discussion, I
haven't even edited it, I just pushed "send". Please add additional
services that will be provided, and/or re-format the assembly line as
needed. You're the organizers. No need to thank me, I'm just happy to
help out. (If you're not pleased for some reason, please contact me
off-list.)

Jim
Somerset CA