[pct-l] Wife buy-in

[Ned Tibbits]

Way to peg it, Tim! That's exactly it and unfortunately rarely said these 
days...



Ned Tibbits, Director
Mountain Education
www.mountaineducation.org
-----Original Message----- 
From: Timothy Nye
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2012 2:10 PM
To: pct-l at backcountry.net
Subject: [pct-l] Wife buy-in

My recommendation is to attend as many pct functions as possible as a family 
and/or couple.  Since you're in California and by the trail this is a plus. 
The goal is to introduce her to the trail community and, incidentally, the 
National Geographic film, at least in my opinion, is counterproductive to 
your cause as it promotes a view of thrus as being "out there" in the 
negative sense of the term. Thus, Trailfest, ADZPCTKO, PCT Days, trail 
angeling, are all ways to get her more familiar, and hence less potentially 
threatened, by the trail,  At the same time, you could also review all the 
nearby re-supply locations where you can rendezvous along the way.

My own wife got me a Spot and I bought her a set of the PCT maps from the 
PCTA.  These are pretty nice and informative about the trail.  I'd send out 
an "I'm OK" signal every evening and she'd find where I was spending the 
night, how close I was to town, etc.

I sold my business to hike.  I realize that is a fairly extreme step and not 
realistic where young children are still in the home.

While hiking this year I realized that the reason I love hiking so much is 
that it really is a reset to a different, and far simpler and enriching, way 
of life from the culture we otherwise live in.  At the same time marriage is 
also a different way of life and one that has been solomized with a vow 
between the spouses.  To the extent that one conflicts with the other i 
decided that from now on I will defer to what I value more, my wife and my 
marriage.  My wife, however, supported my goal from my first attempt in 2009 
through this last years' and this year's hike and she has given more than 
enough of the life we agreed to spend together.  Her unselfishness and 
deference to my goal deserves a similar consideration on my part and, lets 
face it, she truly s my best friend. Otherwise, like many others, I feel the 
pull of wanting to continue to hike, just not as a way of life. You want to 
make sure your wife doesn't view, even to herself, your desire to hike as an 
implicit reject
ion of the marital relationship.

The thing is, relationships and people are what are the most important 
things in life.  Everything else is just chaff. Sometimes, though, it takes 
a hike to be able to see this clearly
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