[pct-l] MORONS

[Reinhold Metzger]

[pct-l] Testing

I have been following the comments and recommendations on the
"Testing" thread with great interest and have come to the following
conclusion....MORONS....I am surrounded by MORONS.

First of all, you guys, somehow, have failed to include "Switchback
& Reinhold" on your list of "Hot Topics".
I don't know about the guys, but Switchback & Reinhold are always
"Hot Topics" with the girls.
I don't really know why that is so...but that's just the way it is.
It must be the mountain man magnetism that seems to, irresistibly,
attract women to "hard-core mountain men".
There are close to 100 years on the trail between Switchback and
Reinhold.
Heck,...I remember first standing on Mt. Whitney in 1968.
That was after 4 years of ground pounding in the USMC Infantry
and I know Switchback has a similar amount of time on the trail.

So you see, there is a lot of "Hard-Core Mountain Man" magnetism
attracting the girls.
It is a burden Switchback & Reinhold have learned to live with.

Second,...all this talk about how to poop and wipe with flat rocks
and squirt bottles is for amateurs..."Hard-Core" mountain men wipe
with cactus leaves resulting in a better scrubbing like cleaning.

Third...forget about heating your Ramen with a Bazooka.
I know all about Bazookas...I was a Bazooka Gunner in the USMC.
The Bazooka will penetrate 11" of homogeneous steel and will
pulverize your Ramen and blow your cooking pot to "smitter bits."

I would suggest you carry a "Flame Thrower" instead.
The Flame Thrower will not only heat up your Ramen instantly but
instantly turn into pot roast any bear, mountain lion or other
wild animal you may encounter on the trail.
You would not need to carry any food or stove since the Flame
Thrower will continuously provide pot roast for you.

You may want to carry a 5 gallon fire extinguisher to extinguish
any forest fires you may accidentally start.

BTW...Switchback, if you should encounter him on the trail, will
make excellent pot roast.
Switchback aahh,...oohh...how do I say this?...has a rather
sizable rear end to roast.

He,he,he,he...cough,cough,cough...oxygen!!!...I need oxygen!!!

Forgive me Switchback,...I could not help myself,...it's not my
fault,...the "Devil" made me do it.

JMT Reinhold
He,he,he,...cough.cough,cough....
-------------------------------

Brick Wrote:
Maybe it is time for a discussion about doing the PCT on a MBT
carrying a gun with a dog using an alcohol stove and not using a
bear canister and showering with water in caches."
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Diarmaid wrote:
Why does the dog have to use an alcohol stove?
I would also rather carry a bazooka.
---------------------
Brick wrote:
It's hard for me to eat my Ramen after I heat it with a Bazooka.
---------------------
Diarmaid wrote:
Bazooka cooking makes for crispy ramen noodles. Very tasty...
---------------------
Happy trucker wrote:
There is a 6.5 lb Potato Cannon but it won't work with freeze
dried spuds and is illegal in Ca.
---------------------
Shroomer wrote:
Man, you left out killing rattlesnakes, babies on the trail,
boots vs running shoes vs no shoes, maps vs no maps and folks
who can't read maps and just follow tracks ahead of them, cel
phones vs no phones, meat eaters vs vegetarians vs vegans, horse
and hiking pole damage and on and on.....
---------------------
Nick wrote:
don't forget:
  - drones
  - speed hiking
  - TP flowers
  - how to bury poop
  - sexist jokes
  - relevance of the book 'Wild'
  - pot on the trail
  - lack of enforcement for all rule breakers
  
did I forget anything?
----------------------
Sparks wrote:
You guys did not include Nazi Lesbian Nuns on your list.