[pct-l] Switchback & Reinhold

Reinhold Metzger reinholdmetzger at cox.net
Sat Dec 21 23:40:44 CST 2013


[pct-l] MORON **
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mike,
thanks for the compliment.
Yes, the girls tell me that all the time, but a little more
discreetly (to prevent their husbands & boyfriends from knowing,
I assume).
Hiking since 1957???...you got me beat by a few years...I will
bow in your presence.

Don't worry about Switchback, his bark is louder, or worse than
his bite...we see eye to eye on many things.
He is just a little jealous because I am better looking than he
and the girls have a tendency to hang around me instead of him.

For instance, I got into trouble at the kick off a few years ago
because I was wearing a funny baseball cap that caused all the
girls to hang around me and made all the guys really mad at me.

Switchback & Reinhold go back to a time when Grizzlies & Saber
Toothed Tigers roamed the wilderness, the bones of hikers littered
the trails and only hard core mountain men like Switchback and
Reinhold dared roam the wilderness.

Yes, there was a time when Switchback & Reinhold ruled the trails
and Grizzlies & Saber Toothed Tigers were nervous when Switchback
and Reinhold were on the trail.
We tamed the wilderness and made it safe for today's hikers.

Well, I think it's time to wax my skis and get ready to go skiing.
You may not hear from me for a long time or you may never hear
from me again.
That, of course, is GOOD news for the guys but BAD news for the girls.

JMT Reinhold
Your ski bumming trail companion
   
------------------------
Mike wrote:
Reinhold, you rock.
I don't care what Switchback says about you, you are the best.

I defer to you since I never held any records (Except vinyl) &
have only been hiking since 1957.

hm
--------------------------------------------
On Sun, 12/15/13, Reinhold Metzger <reinholdmetzger at cox.net  <http://mailman.backcountry.net/mailman/listinfo/pct-l>> wrote:

  Subject: [pct-l] MORONS
  To:pct-l at backcountry.net  <http://mailman.backcountry.net/mailman/listinfo/pct-l>, "Hiker97 at aol.com  <http://mailman.backcountry.net/mailman/listinfo/pct-l>" <Hiker97 at aol.com  <http://mailman.backcountry.net/mailman/listinfo/pct-l>>
  Date: Sunday, December 15, 2013, 8:50 AM
  
  [pct-l] Testing
  
  I have been following the comments and recommendations on
  the
  "Testing" thread with great interest and have come to the
  following
  conclusion....MORONS....I am surrounded by MORONS.
  
  First of all, you guys, somehow, have failed to include
  "Switchback
  & Reinhold" on your list of "Hot Topics".
  I don't know about the guys, but Switchback & Reinhold
  are always
  "Hot Topics" with the girls.
  I don't really know why that is so...but that's just the way
  it is.
  It must be the mountain man magnetism that seems to,
  irresistibly,
  attract women to "hard-core mountain men".
  There are close to 100 years on the trail between Switchback
  and
  Reinhold.
  Heck,...I remember first standing on Mt. Whitney in 1968.
  That was after 4 years of ground pounding in the USMC
  Infantry
  and I know Switchback has a similar amount of time on the
  trail.
  
  So you see, there is a lot of "Hard-Core Mountain Man"
  magnetism
  attracting the girls.
  It is a burden Switchback & Reinhold have learned to
  live with.
  
  Second,...all this talk about how to poop and wipe with flat
  rocks
  and squirt bottles is for amateurs..."Hard-Core" mountain
  men wipe
  with cactus leaves resulting in a better scrubbing like
  cleaning.
  
  Third...forget about heating your Ramen with a Bazooka.
  I know all about Bazookas...I was a Bazooka Gunner in the
  USMC.
  The Bazooka will penetrate 11" of homogeneous steel and
  will
  pulverize your Ramen and blow your cooking pot to "smitter
  bits."
  
  I would suggest you carry a "Flame Thrower" instead.
  The Flame Thrower will not only heat up your Ramen instantly
  but
  instantly turn into pot roast any bear, mountain lion or
  other
  wild animal you may encounter on the trail.
  You would not need to carry any food or stove since the
  Flame
  Thrower will continuously provide pot roast for you.
  
  You may want to carry a 5 gallon fire extinguisher to
  extinguish
  any forest fires you may accidentally start.
  
  BTW...Switchback, if you should encounter him on the trail,
  will
  make excellent pot roast.
  Switchback aahh,...oohh...how do I say this?...has a rather
  sizable rear end to roast.
  
  He,he,he,he...cough,cough,cough...oxygen!!!...I need
  oxygen!!!
  
  Forgive me Switchback,...I could not help myself,...it's not
  my
  fault,...the "Devil" made me do it.
  
  JMT Reinhold
  He,he,he,...cough.cough,cough....
  -------------------------------
  
  Brick Wrote:
  Maybe it is time for a discussion about doing the PCT on a
  MBT
  carrying a gun with a dog using an alcohol stove and not
  using a
  bear canister and showering with water in caches."
  ---------------------
  Diarmaid wrote:
  Why does the dog have to use an alcohol stove?
  I would also rather carry a bazooka.
  ---------------------
  Brick wrote:
  It's hard for me to eat my Ramen after I heat it with a
  Bazooka.
  ---------------------
  Diarmaid wrote:
  Bazooka cooking makes for crispy ramen noodles. Very
  tasty...
  ---------------------
  Happy trucker wrote:
  There is a 6.5 lb Potato Cannon but it won't work with
  freeze
  dried spuds and is illegal in Ca.
  ---------------------
  Shroomer wrote:
  Man, you left out killing rattlesnakes, babies on the
  trail,
  boots vs running shoes vs no shoes, maps vs no maps and
  folks
  who can't read maps and just follow tracks ahead of them,
  cel
  phones vs no phones, meat eaters vs vegetarians vs vegans,
  horse
  and hiking pole damage and on and on.....
  ---------------------
  Nick wrote:
  don't forget:
    - drones
    - speed hiking
    - TP flowers
    - how to bury poop
    - sexist jokes
    - relevance of the book 'Wild'
    - pot on the trail
    - lack of enforcement for all rule breakers
    
  did I forget anything?
  ----------------------
  Sparks wrote:
  You guys did not include Nazi Lesbian Nuns on your list.




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