[pct-l] Distraught Hiker

[hiker97 at aol.com]

One day a distraught hiker came in to the localtrailtown saloon.  She looked verytroubled and upset.  She ordered a doubleshot of Jack Daniel whiskey.  
As she was looking at her drink, a loud noisecould be heard outside.  A gang of bikerswere parking their bikes.  They burstinto the saloon and noisily order beers and hot pizza.  
The gang leader came over to the bar next to thecute hiker.  He grabs her drink and gulpsit down in one swig.  "Well, whatcha’gonna do about that, you pretty little thing?", he says menacingly.
She replies, "Nothing.  I could care less now.  This has been the worst PCT hike of mylife.  The first 5 days on the trail therewas rain and cold wind.  Then I seem to bebehind pack trains all the time.  I hadto eat dust and step around horse poop continually.  Then the other night I was awakened by gunshots and bullets striking the trees around my campsite.  Seems there was a weed farm nearby and thedrug cartel soldiers were fighting.  Iran and when I finally got back to my campsite it had been sacked and plunderedby Switchback the Trail Pirate.  I had towalk out to this trailtown for two days without any food.  On the way out, I came across my longtime boyfriendcamping with another woman."
The biker replies, "Well, how about me making youforget your troubles."
"That sounds wonderful – I feel much better now.  Just before you came in I dropped a cyanidecapsule in my drink and was watching the poison dissolve.  But enough about me.  How is your day going, honey?"
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Your obedient servant and trail rapscallion,
Switchback the Trail Pirate